Dive into the heart of this world with me as I recount my first experience at DSEI. For those unfamiliar, DSEI is a colossal, multi-building event where governments, corporations, and private armies converge to procure or negotiate the latest advancements in military technology, from tanks to insect-sized drones. It's the place where deals are made, where worldwide defense attaches hustle with multiple cell phones to arrange meetings with anyone offering insights on navigating our ever-challenging global landscape. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Join me as I unravel my week-long, eye-opening journey at DSEI in London, England.
From the outset, a sense of imposter syndrome washes over you. Everyone is bustling about, transitioning from handshakes to fist bumps, clad in thousand-dollar suits or full military regalia. Generals stride across the vibrant carpet, accompanied by a retinue of impeccably dressed junior officers, all vying for attention. But wait! I'm jumping ahead of myself. DSEI is in London, and I'm from Brisbane, Australia. My journey begins with a grueling 23-hour flight, taking me halfway across the globe. For anyone who's endured this trek before, it's a daunting prospect. However, as Renée Zellweger famously said in "Jerry Maguire," "...first class used to be a better meal, now it's a better life!" And indeed, the seats on commercial airlines seem to be shrinking by the day. Fortunately, I was about to experience a stroke of luck. Thanks to a mix-up, I found myself upgraded to Business Class while boarding my flight in Sydney. Needless to say, I never looked back. This stroke of fortune marked the first of many auspicious moments on what promised to be an unforgettable journey.
Sparing you the details of my gourmet selections aboard the Business Class flight—Parisian Braised beef with scalloped potatoes, paired with top Australian wines, and a delectable cheese platter—all of which made my transcontinental journey a culinary delight.
A nice mid-journey highlight was the Changi Airport in Singapore.
I arrived at my destination feeling refreshed and ready to embrace my newfound persona as an amateur arms dealer.
But alas, fate had other plans. Now, ask yourself this - what is the one thing at this point in your journey you wouldn’t want to go wrong? Think about it. Well it happened! The airline accidentally left all my luggage back in Sydney. It was a first for me. All I had with me were my laptop, a spare pair of socks, a complimentary business class toiletries bag, an intriguing pirate novel by Michael Crichton, and a handful of mixed airplane nuts. Now, all I needed was the late John Candy to stroll in and offer me a ride!
With the start of the DSEI event looming the next morning at 8 am, and my pin-striped navy suit and tan leather dress shoes lost in transit, I faced the grim reality of attending the prestigious event looking like a vagabond. Every suit I tried on that evening couldn't be tailored in time. It was time to embrace my inner sight-seeing commando. Thankfully, there was one place where I knew I could find my size, my look, and embody my persona—Army Navy surplus stores. And so, with a sense of adventure, I set out to salvage my appearance for the upcoming event. Well, at least my kick-ass pair of black Under Armor military boots were already on my feet!
Now, let's dive into the heart of the DSEI event. As you approach the entrance, prepare to be awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the event. Multiple halls line a massive main corridor, bustling with activity. The aroma of fresh coffee and pastries fills the air, satisfying your early morning cravings. People scurry to and fro, while partitioned meet-ups dotting the landscape. Simply jump online, book a time slot, and you could find yourself engaged in conversation with an African General or an Eastern Block Lt. Colonel—your ticket to entering the realm of Army Inc., provided you have a service or product they desire.
But that's just the beginning. DSEI offers an unparalleled visual feast, showcasing vehicles and products that haven't even hit the market yet. Among the impressive displays, one that stands out is BAE's exhibit—occupying half a hall, it's a sight to behold. Here, they unveil their Wingman flight system, integrating a group of fighter drones with a manned fighter jet. Other notable exhibits include remote artillery, cross-sectioned full-size missiles that ignite the curiosity of even the most seasoned enthusiasts, the New Mercedes Benz G-Class [military configuration], and a fully operational (albeit non-firing) dual Gatling gun for the perfect photo op. Guns, body armor, and the latest innovations from Pelican Case are also on display. However, my personal highlight was undoubtedly the AM General exhibit.
I must apologize in advance for the lack of photos from the AM General exhibit. They were understandably protective of their brand new HMMWV variant, parked prominently at the center. This machine was nothing short of spectacular. While I managed to capture a quick video before being glared at, they allowed visitors to take a peek inside this marvel of engineering. Fully armored and equipped with a sophisticated communication system, a remote turret, and Gatling gun, this vehicle boasted advanced climate control and retained the unmistakable silhouette of a Humvee. In fact, from a brief conversation with one of the executives, I learned that it's still built on the original Humvee chassis. There's no doubt in my mind that we'll be seeing much more of this machine in the years to come.
As the event drew to a close, my luggage miraculously found its way to me, better late than never, right? Donning my suit and dress shoes on the final day, I resumed my arms dealer persona with gusto. There's something exhilarating about feeling like part of an exclusive club, surrounded by the latest in modern, impressive, and let's not forget, destructively cool technology. It was an eye-opening and, dare I say, humbling experience. Here's hoping I get the chance to do it all over again—and maybe this time, my luggage will arrive fashionably early.
DSEI event starts in September of 2025. Catch you guys next time.
HumBlog - Yank Tank
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